Updated: Oct 18, 2020
To all whom it concerns,
my name is Mr. Orange, and this is my story.
Long ago, in a desert far, far away...
Our small civilization lived peaceful and balanced lives. We were not the greatest of civilizations, but we made ends where we could. Some of us joined other civilizations, most notably red, in a rush to bring glory to our kingdom; there are speculations that this was the first step that led to our ultimate demise. None of us could predict what would happen, but happened it did. One day when the light turned to shadow. An event called- the Nerfpocalyspe. The beginning of the end.
It was the calm before the storm called, in popular folklore, the Maintenance. As the darkness dissipated from the sky, light shined anew; revealing a visage of horror. When I came to I looked for my orange wife and my orange kids only to find them...gone. Only to find their remains. Broken innocence.
Slowly, one by one our champions fell amid the devastation.
Scion, our once mythical warrior, lost his strength. The same champion who could overrun his foes found his strength lacking, found his mythical strength turned common. His ability to transform weakened as time passed.
Our recruiter’s lost their might and could not handle the harsh environment.
The once tempting kingdom lost all of its temptation. It could tempt no one... no more. For all the benedictions we had is now gone.
Peri’s who once gloriously soared the skies hurdled like wild beasts on the ground as the passing merchants, who once looked at them with admiration, now sneered disdainful taunts such as Peri LuL.
Lavish Proxy was a standard in our kingdom who leads all our armies, but now he is nowhere to be seen. Vanished like sand in the desert wind.
There are rumors that our last remaining champion, our angel of hope, will soon follow.
In my travels I have found a lone prophet who gave me some mystical creatures called Rhino’s. The prophet told me they will lead me to salvation. If this is true or false I cannot tell, but what else is there?
I ride through the desert looking at Bob the lone desertification engine still working hard, and even though Bob is just a machine, his unyielding willpower gives me strength to carry on.
The journey is long as treacherous, so with the power of song I keep my spirits high.
As I walk through the deserts of the shadow of death
I take a look at my text and realize there’s not much left
‘Coz I’ve been nerfed and balanced so long, that
Even Mythgardian’s think that my cards are gone
But I ain’t never had a card that deserved it
Me be treated like a punk you know that’s unheard of
You better watch how you’re nerfin’, and where you’re balancin’
Or you and your valks might be lined in chalk
I really hate to trip but I gotta,
As I grow I see myself in the useless smoke, fool
I’m the kinda O and R the little homies wanna play
On my knees in the night, sayin’ don’t nerf me no more
Check out more Tempest writings in his book here